Protect Your Time

Protect Your Time

I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  Those things are my top priorities and they are not always in that order.  Typically I am a mom first which means I’m a boo boo kisser, a referee, a taxi driver, a tutor… you get the point.  Aside from those roles I am a blogger, a freelance writer, a wedding planner, and a member of an events team for a wedding magazine.  In addition to those responsibilities I am on the board of my daughter’s school PTA, I volunteer in her classroom weekly, I assist in the planning of two large events at her school.  I’m also a co-team parent for both of my kids soccer teams.  As you may gather from this list, I’m what is commonly referred to (mainly by me) as a stay-at-home-mom.  But my largest descriptor is someone who doesn’t know how to say no.

When I became a SAHM my little one was just 10 months old.  I was working as a wedding coordinator and felt like I was spending all my time making other people, other families have the most special moments ever.  Meanwhile, I didn’t even have a single day of any week when my little family of three was all together for a full day.  It crushed my soul.  It made me cry to and from work.  Every time a client gushed over how fabulous their event was all I could think about was how I had missed play time, dinners, bath time, and the super special bedtime ritual night and night again just so that client could have the time of their life.  

When I transitioned to a SAHM, I vowed to make my child’s life the center of my responsibilities.  Not the center of my life – that’s a whole different blog post.  But I vowed that I would volunteer in her school when the time came, that I would be involved in sports teams, that I would make her days extra special with extra snuggles, sweet notes, and trips to ice cream or to explore a new park.  The point was that I would be there, I would be involved so that she (and my son who wasn’t born at the time) would see that I think her school, sports, and hobbies are important.  I wanted them to see that I think they are important.

Fast forward some 5 1/2 years and I. Am. Spent.  I wake up at 5am so that I can work on PTA stuff, then satisfy my requirements for campaigns and article deadlines, finalize the latest wedding details, and hopefully work on a blog post.  By the time that’s done it’s time to get the kids up and ready for school, I’m lucky if I get in a run or a shower but it’s never both.  

So, I’ve started to say no.  This is a really really hard thing for me, but my overall sanity needs it.  Everyday I get requests for help, new opportunities, and invitations to things.  Just like all of you.  And I used to try to make sure I could do everything, but not now.  Last week alone I was asked to help out with a handful of things and I said no to all of them.  I was invited to do a few things and I said no to all of them.  It felt good, I actually had down time over the weekend with my family.  No plans, so we had an impromptu family movie night.  It was great and I was in bed at 9.

It’s made me realize that I need to be more protective of my time.  When I started looking back at the best time of my day, it’s snuggling with my kids, chatting with my hubby, and listening to my kids tell me how their day was.  I can’t do those things if I’m over extended.

Are you a yes person or a no person?  Can you relate?


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