I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Those things are my top priorities and they are not always in that order. Typically I am a mom first which means I’m a boo boo kisser, a referee, a taxi driver, a tutor… you get the point. Aside from those roles I am a blogger, a freelance writer, a wedding planner, and a member of an events team for a wedding magazine. In addition to those responsibilities I am on the board of my daughter’s school PTA, I volunteer in her classroom weekly, I assist in the planning of two large events at her school. I’m also a co-team parent for both of my kids soccer teams. As you may gather from this list, I’m what is commonly referred to (mainly by me) as a stay-at-home-mom. But my largest descriptor is someone who doesn’t know how to say no.
When I became a SAHM my little one was just 10 months old. I was working as a wedding coordinator and felt like I was spending all my time making other people, other families have the most special moments ever. Meanwhile, I didn’t even have a single day of any week when my little family of three was all together for a full day. It crushed my soul. It made me cry to and from work. Every time a client gushed over how fabulous their event was all I could think about was how I had missed play time, dinners, bath time, and the super special bedtime ritual night and night again just so that client could have the time of their life.
When I transitioned to a SAHM, I vowed to make my child’s life the center of my responsibilities. Not the center of my life – that’s a whole different blog post. But I vowed that I would volunteer in her school when the time came, that I would be involved in sports teams, that I would make her days extra special with extra snuggles, sweet notes, and trips to ice cream or to explore a new park. The point was that I would be there, I would be involved so that she (and my son who wasn’t born at the time) would see that I think her school, sports, and hobbies are important. I wanted them to see that I think they are important.
Fast forward some 5 1/2 years and I. Am. Spent. I wake up at 5am so that I can work on PTA stuff, then satisfy my requirements for campaigns and article deadlines, finalize the latest wedding details, and hopefully work on a blog post. By the time that’s done it’s time to get the kids up and ready for school, I’m lucky if I get in a run or a shower but it’s never both.
So, I’ve started to say no. This is a really really hard thing for me, but my overall sanity needs it. Everyday I get requests for help, new opportunities, and invitations to things. Just like all of you. And I used to try to make sure I could do everything, but not now. Last week alone I was asked to help out with a handful of things and I said no to all of them. I was invited to do a few things and I said no to all of them. It felt good, I actually had down time over the weekend with my family. No plans, so we had an impromptu family movie night. It was great and I was in bed at 9.
It’s made me realize that I need to be more protective of my time. When I started looking back at the best time of my day, it’s snuggling with my kids, chatting with my hubby, and listening to my kids tell me how their day was. I can’t do those things if I’m over extended.
Are you a yes person or a no person? Can you relate?